Monday, February 15, 2010

Top 5's

This time of year sucks. No football for a good five months and no meaningful football for about seven months. So here's a bunch of top 5's... mostly football but with a few other lists sprinkled in...

Super Bowl Favorites for 2010

5. Dallas - Had only they canned Wade Phillips for a Bill Cowher/Jon Gruden/Mike Shannahan type coach
4. Green Bay - Love Rodgers and where that shit is going
3. Indianapolis - I sniff a hangover but then again they'll win 12+ games and take that division
2. San Diego - I think losing LT and the obligation to feed his old ass the rock will be a weight off the Chargers shoulders
1. New Orleans - Drew Brees is a pimp

Teams that will make the playoffs after a 2009 miss

5. Panthers - Hog tie Jake Delhomme and launch him off a cliff... Start Matt Moore (anyone really who won't fuck it up)
4. Titans - They aren't as good as the 2008 13-3 record but they don't nearly suck as much as the 0-6 start... I'd peg them at 10-6 and a wild card spot
3. 49ers - Kurt Warner's retirement opens the door for San Fran to take that craptacular division
2. Giants - Waaaaay too good to be finishing 8-8
1. Steelers - Keep... Polamalu... HEALTHY!!!

Teams to fall off after making the playoffs in 2009

5. Patriots - The Dolphins and the Jets are younger and getting better n better each year... the Pats need to make some noise this offseason
4. Eagles - This team should be in the playoffs again but I'm afraid of how they'll handle the McNabb situation. The right move would be to ship him off and start the Kevin Kolb reign in Philly but who knows what they'll do.
3. Jets - I love the Jets roster but you just never know with young teams. They could fall off a bit in year 2 of the Sanchize era or they could go 12-4. Neither would shock me.
2. Cardinals - I'm not a Matt Leinart believer
1. Bengals - Will NOT be going 6-0 in the division again

If I started an expansion team and could have 1 QB for 1 Year it would be...

5. Aaron Rodgers - The only blemish I see so far is that he takes far too many sacks..
4. Ben Roethlisberger - Classic case of taking your stats and shoving em up your ass... Man has intangibles through the roof
3. Tom Brady - I'm thinking year 2 after the injury is more like the Brady of old and less like Carson Palmer after his knee injury
2. Peyton Manning - hmmm well where will this expansion team play? In a dome, maybe I put Manning #1... in a cold wintery city he may drop to 3 or 4
1. Drew Brees - The man put on a clinic at the Super Bowl with good, but not great talent around him.

If I could pick a QB and have him at least a good 5-7 years...

5. Tom Brady - A teeny weeny bit fearful of how it'll play out for Tom... I should be struck down for such blasphemy
4. Philip Rivers - Like I said above, losing LT is going to be huge for the Chargers... just wait and see
3. Peyton Manning - Manning will age gracefully and still be very effective right down to the end of his career
2. Drew Brees - 31 years old and should be plenty good this decade to come
1. Aaron Rodgers - I'm the conductor of the Aaron Rodgers train... hop aboard

Top 5 NBA Title contenders this season (just for the record 3 through 5 don't matter on this list)

5. Spurs - Eh maybe they have a big upset in em
4. Magic - Still a tough matchup for the Cavs
3. Mavs - Sure... why not...
2. Cavs - Regular season is paralleling last season... gotta not shit the bed before the finals this time
1. Lakers - Champs til someone knocks em off

Top 5 best uniforms in the NFL... I always go for simple over too much shit going on... fewer colors is a huge plus and I don't like teams who have like 19 variations of their uniform... I also like uniforms that are tried and true lasting years and years

5. Jets - Ditching the all greens and going back to the Joe Namath unis was a great move... probably have the best helmet in the NFL
4. 49ers - Losing the busy maroon unis that I linked above for the cherry red Joe Montana 1980's look was very smart... more teams need to take notice
3. Colts - I hate them with every fiber of my being but they look good out there... Royal blue and white, simple as hell and you'd think Johnny Unitas was running out of the tunnel onto the field.
2. Raiders - It's too damn bad they suck so much cuz that is a nice looking uniform. Remember when the silver and black meant something?
1. Saints - Black and Gold are so solid together. Simple design and I love the logo n helmet

I also like the Steelers, Cowboys, Chiefs, Browns (home), Packers, and Bears

5 Worst Uniforms...

5. Redskins - Just a dumb team name and dumb logo... imagine if they had a derogatory name/logo for any other ethnic group? People be up in arms...
4. Rams - Here is a classic case of trying to modernize something that already looked great and failing
3. Bengals - Just ugly crappy uniforms... and another team with 76 different variations... each of them sucking
2. Seahawks - I admit that the Seahawks uniforms needed an update but the blue on blue with a tint of lime green is awful... and those alternate unis they wore against the Bears were the worst atrocity in NFL history... the man who decided to put that out there should be killed
1. Bills - Here is a team with a fantastic throwback uniform and a decent former uniform but instead decided on this heinous look

I also hate the Chargers, Broncos, Panthers, Jaguars, and Titans

Top 5 Running Backs of my lifetime - In other words if I could pick a player and have him for the duration of his career on the Pats

5. LT - He's a snivelly bitch but I can't leave him off the list he was a sick player
4. Marshall Faulk - He could run, catch, block, was smart as hell, scored a ton of touchdowns, and from what I gather was a good teammate too
3. Barry Sanders - I don't know that Barry Sanders fits the bill of a running back I'd build a championship team around... he'd run for 2 yards, -4 yards, then bust one for 35... however it would have been friggin sick to have seen him play in person during his prime
2. Terrell Davis - Crazy how quickly he has been forgotten but I'd match TD's prime with any running back in NFL history... a shame injuries ended his career so soon
1. Emmitt Smith - A start to his career that rivaled TD along with longevity hardly anyone has ever seen... heart of a champion and an absolute battering ram to get you 4 yards every carry.

Top 5 Dumbest NHL Teams - I'm still not over the ridiculous amount of over expansion that went on in the 90's

5. Florida Panthers - People in Miami have better things to do than watch hockey..
4. Atlanta Thrashers - Let's give Atlanta another sport where they don't show up to things...
3. Columbus Blue Jackets - So Cleveland and Cincinnati have proven to be decent Ohio sports towns but instead you stick a franchise in Columbus? I couldn't even name 1 player to have ever played for the Blue Jackets
2. Nashville Predators - Really? It was a good idea to put an EXPANSION team in Tennessee of all places???
1. Phoenix Coyotes - There has never been one crystal of ice in Arizona... they don't care about hockey whatsoever... move these guys back to Winnepeg!!!

Top 5 Nastiest Teams in Tecmo Super Bowl for NES

5. Bears - Very underrated team... Neil Anderson and Brad Muster are solid rb's and the D has a lot of nasty players in Mike Singletary, Richard Dent, and company
4. Oilers - If you like to pass it doesn't get better than Moon and four nasty receivers in Hill, Givens, Jeffires, and Duncan
3. 49ers - The niners have a solid ass hall of fame offense with Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Jon Taylor, Brent Jones, Roger Craig, and Tom Rathman but they don't really have that go to pass rusher which is a must... Charles Haley and Ronnie Lott are solid on defense but not quite top tier
2. Giants - They don't have the greatest offense but Meggett n Andersen are strong enough and LT (the real and original LT) is sick nasty
1. Bills - People may not agree but tell me where the Bills are weak? Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed, James Lofton, QB Bills (Jim Kelly), Bruce Smith, Darryl Talley... strong ass team but I won't lie I'd take any of the top 3

* Not putting the Raiders in here... Bo Jackson is a 1 man attack... Two plays against the computer may work but against another person doesn't cut it

5 Crappiest Teams in Tecmo....

5. Bucs - The Bucs actually have a few decent players but if you were to simulate 50 seasons they might make the playoffs in 3 of them
4. Cardinals - Can anyone name any player from the Cards? Via Sikahema and Johnny Johnson are the only two coming to mind... they have been a pretty miserable franchise for a good 75 years... Tecmo is no different
3. Seahawks - VERY underrated shitty team... they fly under the radar but if you try to play with them you will quickly realize that they don't have shit for players
2. Colts - Jeff George has a strong arm but after that they don't have shit for playmakers...
1. Patriots - Steve Grogan didn't even play in 1991... he retired and we know why... good God he sucks in Tecmo. The Pats defense is littered with slow ass guys too.... I wish I were lying but I've played in/simulated THOUSANDS of tecmo seasons and not one time, NOT ONE TIME has the Patriots made the playoffs (unless I controlled them). I've seen them finish 7-9 once and 8-8 once.

5 Best Characters on The Office

5. Kevin - I love his deliberate slow talking.. especially in the solos to the camera
4. Jim/Pam - They were better in the older episodes
3. Andy Bernard - Ed Helms just friggin kills me... he plays the goofball perfectly
2. Dwight - Rainn Wilson has been forever typecasted
1. Michael - He's everything you'd want in a main character... polarizing as all hell, selfish, unprofessional, flat out terrible at his job... He drives everyone crazy yet he shows his softer side here and there

That's all for now....